Validating our thoughts and emotions is important, but we tap into a whole new world of freedom when we validate our very being.
It’s becoming trendy to talk about validating our feelings, validating our identities, and validating our perspectives. But do we ever validate ourselves for just being? Until recently, this wasn’t a question that even crossed my mind. I sometimes feel as if my work is just a vessel. We are not here for work. We are here to be of service, and work is what allows us to serve. However, this does not mean that we are one and the same with our work. I am not my work. What I produce does not determine my value, nor does it define my identity. I resisted this truth for so long because this can be hard to grasp in a society that measures value by output.
If you are anything like me, this can be an especially hard boundary to grasp when you genuinely love your work. This is the paradox of finding passion in work.
But here’s the thing: your work can be one of infinite manifestations of your being, but it’s not who you are. What you produce is simply passing through you because you are doing the work you were brought here to do.
Read that again.
A life of service through your work is what you were brought here to do, not who you were brought here to be. You are still you without your work.
Why, then, do we struggle to release our attachment to this desire to produce? I can only answer this for myself, but for me, my work is what has made me feel seen. For so long, my limited thought process has been, “Unless I create something, what about my will people see?”
There are a million points on my own journey that could have brought me to this conclusion. Maybe it’s society. Maybe it’s an unresolved childhood wound. At the end of the day, the source of this limiting belief isn’t as important as its solution. And to be honest, the solution is something that I am still figuring out.
Perhaps I don’t know my being well enough to validate it. Perhaps I do know who I am, but I don’t have the confidence that who I am is enough. If I don’t think that my being is enough, perhaps I don’t actually know my being at all.
I don’t know how the story will end in the new script I am writing but I do know where to start. In order to value being, I must confront her boldly. I must stare at her right in the eyes. Not to judge her or search for something to “fix” about her. Rather, to accept her and love her by letting her be.
This opportunity to start a new relationship with yourself is the most important opportunity you can take, because it is the most important relationship that you can have.
As for me, I know that she's always been there. She's just waiting for me to reach out a hand.